Monthly Archives: December 2017

Determining Limits

Welcome back. Last time we started talking about limits. You can find that post here (add link). But if you’re all caught up let’s continue.

Originally, I wanted to start talking about why they are so important, but as I began to write this post I found myself more concerned with helping you find them. I still intend to do that post, but I’m going to push it off a little bit. I want to talk to the other care providers I know and give you a few more examples from a practical perspective.

So for today, we’re going to work through a few exercises to help you determine your limits and to make sure that you are fitting the things into your day that you really need to be doing. Because sometimes limits mean just doing the things that have to be done and not trying to do everything on the household bucket list.

An example

When I first started doing this I was very young. I’ve been helping with my mom’s care for as long as I can remember and as I’ve gotten older that has just meant more and more responsibilities. Dad worked and mom couldn’t, so anything I was able to do was left to me. That’s just how it was.

Between taking care of mom and dealing with childhood bullies, I didn’t have much of a life. I didn’t have many supports. Which may be a reason I still struggle with those supports. The longer you stay away from social interaction the harder it becomes. I’ve seen it with both myself and my mother. We both started out as very extroverted people. I’ve watched her lose that and become very introverted. And I”ve watched myself fight to land somewhere in the middle.

Back to limits, however, I had few limits for myself at the time. I was too young and I wasn’t cognizant enough to realize that I needed them. I did everything asked of me. It took me a really long time to understand why that was so frustrating. And the reason was that I wasn’t taking care of my needs or fulfilling my desires. It made me angry and more resentful as time went on.  

Teen Rebellion

However, when I hit my teens I hit my rebellious streak. I ended up moving to a new town a year before my parents. I had a year with my grandmother.  No chores. Nothing. I was just allowed to be a preteen.

So when mom moved back in with all of us and wanted me to do even more. Things that she could do for herself. I wasn’t the nicest person, to say the least. I had reached a limit. No longer was I willing to just do everything without question.  No longer was I willing to do things that I knew she could do on her own.

This caused a huge rift between us for a while. When they finally bought their place next door. I didn’t move in with them. Instead, I stayed across the circle with grandma. I still had chores over there. I still had things to do, and at first, they tried to make me do everything. However, after a few family chats, screaming matches, and a lot of frustration, my father realized that what my grandmother was telling him was correct. I needed to be a kid and fulfill those needs and mom needed to do what she could.

At the time that didn’t happen, but I see her trying now and I am very thankful for that. We get along way better then we did back then. The point is that limits shift. You find new ones and abandon old ones like clothing. Our priorities change and that’s okay. The goal here is to find a balance between what you want, what they need, and ensuring that the gap is filled somewhere.

Your Limits

Exercise # 1

For the next week keep track of everything you do and how much time you spend on it. I did this a few years ago and was readily surprised at how much time I was wasting on Facebook and other diversions. There is simply so much you can learn about yourself by what you spend your time on. Use this sheet to chart it and see what you are using your time for and maybe some things you can drop.

Exercise # 2

Last week we made a list of everything that you do. You made it as detailed as you liked or could manage. I want you to have that list nearby.  Pull out a blank schedule you can fiddle with and a pencil.  I want you to go through and write in all the things that life could not go on without.

Base Needs

Set aside time to pay the bills. Set aside time to grocery shop and cook dinner. These things have to be done. No negotiation. They are base needs.  My simple list includes:

  • Cooking
  • Showering Everyone
  • Grocery shopping
  • Paying bills
  • Cleaning
  • Work (easier for me since I work at home)

Social Needs

After base needs. Fill in spots for your social/personal needs. Now, this does not mean schedule something for yourself each night. For me it looks something like this:

  • One night out with mom and the Valkyrie
  • date night
  • time just with the Valkyrie.
  • an hour or two for myself each day.

That’s it.

All the Other Stuff

After that, you can look at other things. I have an income so my businesses, crafts, everything else is secondary. All of that comes after everything else I’ve already gone through.  I make time for it because it is important for me to have a backup plan.  However, people are more important. So make sure you meet your base needs first. Then you’re social.  The social things may only happen every other week, but I make sure we do those things because the interaction is important.

So after I’ve put in my base and social needs I work on the rest. Once or twice a week I have a time set aside to try to get as much of the paperwork done for anything else. For example, I’m trying to get dad services, but as much as I want that, there are other things that need to be done as well. So I use my paperwork time for that.

The rest of my day I have these things on my list in the order that I’d like to get them done. I try to do them daily. It doesn’t always happen:

  • Exercise/Meditate/Pray (It’s kinda all one thing for me)
  • reading (short little books about happiness and such)
  • Write or edit a blog post
  • ABC mouse with Freya
  • Udemy class (currently doing 2 lectures on a web design class and one in Reiki)
  • Crafty (something creative. Right now I’m doing a box a day on my advent calendar!)

On most days I get through the Udemy class but occasionally I don’t. I do my best. Just remember that your todo list isn’t the end of the world. If you don’t get it all done, it’s okay.

Every day, when I’m done for the day, I look at my list. I count how many things were on it. I add in anything that popped up and interfered with my plans. For example, today I needed to package and freeze my meat from the grocery trip the other day so it didn’t go bad. That was one more item on my list, just an unexpected one.

Once I know how many things I planned on doing/came up, I can’t how many things I got done. Most days, I find that out of 10-15 items, I’ve gotten around 70% percent of them done. Sometimes more. Sometimes less. Also look at how complicated the tasks were and realize that you probably got more done in a day than you think unless you wasted a ton of time on Facebook like I used to and sometimes still do.

Exercise # 3

Now you have to determine what your limits are going to be. You’ve looked at your time. You are going to have to look at how much and what you are willing to do. How far can you go before you break yourself? Avoid the last one if you can as I can say that it sucks to not be able to give care because you’re down with an injury.

Burnout is a real concern and it’s really easy to fall into. I’ll save burnout for another post, however. Today, we need to just focus on avoiding that entirely.

When you find something that you think is a limit consider the following:

  • What makes it so uncomfortable or why do you dislike it?
  • Can you completely avoid it or are you going to need someone to do it?
  • Can you compromise on that fact to some degree?
  • Who can you ask for help?
  • What are your resources?

Another example

Bed baths used to be an issue for me. I was very uncomfortable. Why? because I had an issue with wiping her butt. It sounds silly but it is true. I also didn’t really know the proper way to do it…if you can really say there is such a thing aside from pericare.  For a while, I had someone else who could perform that service in the house, another aide. However, when she left, I realized that I could bend and learn to do that. However, I still refuse to wipe her rear. That’s her gig, not mine for as long as she can do it.

We can renegotiate if we get to the point where she can’t.

At the time I knew I could ask the aide for help. I also knew that there were services out there to provide that care if you don’t feel qualified. Remember, you don’t have to provide all the care if your loved ones are eligible for these programs. I only took over the care was because there was no one else to do it and my company offered to hire me to cover the hours. Otherwise, my care would have just been limited to financial and transportation.

This is just another reason why limits are so important.

And if you can’t do it?

That may mean that you need to ask a sibling or other family members for help. In my case, I don’t have that luxury. My sister has her own health problems and lives on the other side of the country.

It may mean that you need to seek outside help. And depending on what has changed your limitations, it could even mean walking away at some point. Or realizing that it’s time to put them in assisted living, a group home, or even a nursing home depending on the situation.

You have to respect your limits both physical and mental.

No matter what your reasons, you have to realize that in the end, it doesn’t do any good to push yourself past safety or mental limits. If you end up taking yourself out of the equation to do so. If you hurt yourself pushing past those limits, then who will take care of them? And don’t forget your mental limits. If you push yourself past your mental limits, what will happen to you?. Or worse, your children if you have them.

It’s Not Easy

And I am not saying that any of this is easy by any means. I’ve walked away from my parents and grandma at points where the gaps were covered. Even though I needed to do that at the time to go to college, I will never that was an easy choice. I made a lot of phone calls home and spent a lot of nights hoping that they were really okay. The worst was when my grandmother’s health started to decline. I was in England. It had been bad enough being three hours away much less three thousand miles with a six-hour time difference.

When I was finishing school and my grandmother really fell apart. It was hard to keep my promise to her. She wanted me to finish finals instead of coming home to take care of her. The woman who basically raised me because my dad was working and mom was sick. I said goodbye to her over the phone because she told me that my education was more important. That was hard. It hurt. And a lot of times these decisions for good or bad do hurt.

No matter what you learn from this, realize that you’re not alone. There are resources out there for you. I hope you consider this to be one of them. There are people out there who can help. You just have to find your resources and be willing to use them. Be willing to learn from them. Most of all, be willing to recognize your limits because if you don’t, you only hurt yourself and those you love.

Stay tuned. Next week we will actually cover what can go wrong when you don’t have limits or don’t set stern enough limits.


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Project Tooth Part 1

Introducing my latest idea: Project Tooth.

Over the course of the next several weeks, I’m going to test a theory. I found this book claiming that you can heal your cavities and tooth decay.  I’m going to keep this short and sweet so I can get to really planning the best way to test this.

What I want to know

  • Does it work?
  • Is it just another fad?
  • Is it economical?
  • How much work is it?
  • How much time is it?
  • What are the pros?
  • What are the cons?

And I aim to find out.

The Research

I keep finding research indicating that this is possible. Instead of detailing it here, I’m going to leave the sciency terms to those who can best describe them. Or at least to those who can describe them better than I can.

The simplistic explanation is that by remineralizing your teeth, eating correctly, avoiding sugars, and killing germs, you can heal your teeth.

After enough sites like those listed below, I’m starting to wonder how effective these treatments are. I want so badly for it to work. I would much rather diy my dentistry than overpay in the current healthcare market.

Check out a few of the proponents

  1. Wellness Mama’s post on the real causes of tooth decay.
  2.   a dentist herself claiming you can reverse tooth decay
  3. Ayurveda channels talking about oil pulling, tongue scraping, etc.

The Plan

I’m going to take some time after Christmas to find a friend. I just want them to take some pictures of my current dental situation.  Once I have that documented  I want to post it with a discussion of tooth decay, its causes, symptoms, as well as myths associated with tooth decay.

Once I have my baseline and our general discussion, I’m going to do a weekly or bi-weekly update including the things that I’m learning and trying.

I know this was short and sweet, but with the holidays and everything else, I don’t want to take up too much of your time today. So go home, enjoy some hot cocoa with the kids, and I’ll be back with my usual posts each week as well as an update no later than two weeks from now.

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Limits: The First Step

We all have limits and boundaries. Some of them are hard to set while many others are hard limits. But limits are exceedingly important when you are a caregiver. Not setting boundaries or recognizing limits early on can make your job a lot harder. It can become nearly impossible to backstep into a more comfortable position. Worse, you can become a doormat to those you love, leading to resentment and anger. I’ve done this. I’ve made these mistakes.

Trust me, I don’t want to see anyone else make them. It sucks to be quite honest.

Occasionally, I find myself looking back on things in the past. Well, a lot. I also think about my current situation.  I do this often, so I thought I would take a moment out of your day to explain the importance of limits and how to work through them together as a family.

Right Now

Currently, I find myself wanting to take a step back. Letting someone else take some of the hours. Currently, I run 40-45 of the aid hours and that doesn’t include the things that I have to do outside of my job like paperwork for their services, among other things. I would like to have more time to work on my own business ventures. Mainly so that I have a backup plan.

Right now, if something happened to either of them, my daughter and I would have limited options and little to no income. We would be dead in the water. And it’s important to make sure that you have these kinds of plans. In the future, I would like to do a post on how to do that if you’re in a tight spot. But first I have to figure it out myself.

For now, we’re just going to focus on how to determine your limits and how that affects the boundaries of your caregiving duties.

My limits

If you had asked me a few months ago or even a year ago. My limits would have been drastically different. However, over time, the longer you do this, the more some of those boundaries become flexible. In some cases, this is a good thing. In others, not so much. For example, It is fine that I got over my aversion to giving my mother a bed bath. It’s not so great that I’ve started giving in to her cravings (all of which go against her dietary recommendations).

If I let that go too far it could have really bad consequences for her. Remember, if you are entirely in charge of another adult, sometimes you’re going to feel like a jerk telling them no. Just saying. It is a problem I face on a regular basis. But sometimes it has to be done.

.Recently, I’ve learned that my limits have changed. While I am fine with providing more care, my privacy and personal needs have changed. I don’t want someone walking into my bedroom at all hours of the night wreaking havoc on my sleep schedule. I can’t handle being the only one doing everything when others are capable. To me, these are reasonable requests. With my family, however, as much as I love them, that may mean moving out and just being over here during the day.

I’m also realizing that I don’t have a support network. Or at least a very strong one….something I recommend to everyone out there. I will admit, I’m not always the best at following even my own advice, but like everyone else, I’m working on it.

In my case, I’m realizing that I have to do more to take care of myself and that may mean dropping other things.  The problem is knowing which things to drop.  Everything always seems so important. But really, unless you make a life-threatening decision, life will go on no matter what you decide.

What You NEED!

Realize what you need to be okay. Whatever that means. Realize that is okay. You may meet somewhere in the middle. You may do something you don’t like. But it is not okay to constantly hate your life or to feel trapped all the time. It is not okay to keep pushing yourself until you break.

There is no shame in realizing you are at or nearing your limit. Also, there is no shame in needing to step back or even walk away. Especially if you are starting to feel like you are mentally or physically incapable of continuing. Realize that this job takes a lot out of you. Trust me, I should know. I’ve been doing some variant of this nearly my entire life.  It’s not easy.

I love my parents. The decision to change my role is not one I take lightly. Or even one that I’ve finalized. However, it is okay to realize that you are unqualified or in over your head. All of us have those moments and I would be concerned if you never even have a thought about it. Being a caregiver is one of the hardest things you may ever do.

That doesn’t mean that you walk away never to return. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care. You can still play a role in the caregiving. It just means change. And you should realize by now that life is full of changes. Good and bad. Hard and painful.

If you realize that staying is more emotionally or even potentially physically harmful to the person you’re caring for, then it may be time for you to move on. Don’t think it can’t happen to you. Anyone can be pushed so far past their limits that they might do things they otherwise wouldn’t. Realize that its okay to ask for help and its okay to take a step back. Even if it’s not easy.

What You Do Now

The first thing you need to take a look at is what you’re already doing. Make a list. Include everything. Maybe ponder it for a few days or even weeks. Make sure you have absolutely everything that you are responsible for. I’ll leave it up to you as to how detailed you get.

To keep it simple, I’ll try to keep my personal example below short. However, I’ve done this list. And after two weeks detailing everything and sub detailing because I’m anal like that….my list is around 3 pages. It includes specifics for each room and paperwork that I should be doing as well as what I consider my duties to my daughter.


  • Toddler: homeschool (ABC mouse, incorporating counting into our day, talking about letters, etc), play, socialize, fun, keeping a routine, bedtimes, figuring out parenting issues, etc.
  • Boyfriend: quality time, date night, extracurriculars
  • Mom: get her out of the house, diet, exercise, doctors, medications,
  • Dad: get him to eat, get him to help out.


  • Bathroom: Everything in both should get cleaned at least once a week
  • Bedroom: gets picked up at least once a week
  • Kids rooms: gets picked up at least once a week, toys get put away
  • Living room: Toys and pickup
  • Office: File, organize, pickup
  • Garage: keep organized
  • Dining room: keep table clear


  • Sweeping weekly
  • Dusting weekly (mold and dust allergies)
  • Moping weekly
  • Vacuuming weekly
  • Cleaning the kitchen daily (stove, counters, dishes, and the appliances once a month)
  • Laundry
  • Putting away laundry (a dreaded task of mine)
  • Making sure everyone gets showers (including the adults)
  • Paperwork for work
  • Phone calls to various doctors
  • (This is a particularly long list)

My endeavors

  • Blogging
  • Occasional Craft (to decompress)
  • 2 websites
  • Getting new wholesalers
  • Working on my curriculum (hasn’t been happening recently)

As I said this is the short version of the list. Depending on how detail oriented you may find that your list is shorter. And that’s okay too.

Realizing Your Limits Takes Time

We all have limits. Sometimes we can see them and other times we run into ones we didn’t even know we had. I am a stubborn girl. It is hard for me to admit when I’m wrong or when I find a new limit. I want to think that I can push through anything, but sometimes I have to realize that even I can only do so much.

And you are going to find those things too. Some of them may surprise you, even shock you. Others may hurt or make you feel bad. Like you aren’t doing enough. However, if you are taking care of someone you love, full or part-time, you are doing something.  You care.

How much you may be able to do, may vary from your situation to mine. And that is okay. Accept what you can do and find solutions to the rest as you go. You may struggle to do a thing you hate, but if you hate them don’t just keep doing them. Find ways to respect your own limits. It’s hard, but it’s one more thing to help you prevent burnout and resentment.

In the next post, we’re going to take our list and put it to use. We’ll take a closer look at the importance of limits and how to determine yours for yourself.


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Goals Writing Prompt

Every once in a while I find myself at a loss for where I am going or how to get there. This year I managed to solve that problem with these goals writing prompt I’m going to share with you today.

While we all have these problems, this time of year always seems to be when I have mine. Between October and February when the weather sucks and its cold as balls. I really hate the cold by the way.

You could call it a seasonal affective disorder. Or you could say that I”m just a curmudgeon in the cold. Whatever it is, I get all introspective and somewhat introverted and I start thinking entirely too much. It sucks. These feelings just make me dislike the cold and winter all the more.

This year I found it hitting me right in the middle of National Novel Writing Month (add link) (NaNoWriMo for short) and I was stuck. What normally acted as an activity to reenergize me was bringing me down. Big time. All those feelings and troubles just wandering around in my head.

I was stuck.

I couldn’t work on my story and I felt no motivation to write.

The Problem

As I said before, its a problem I tend to have every year. This year just seems a bit worse with so much going on at the house. Part of it is burnout, a common problem in caregivers.

In addition, there’s some tension with the parents, as tends to happen no matter how much you love the people you care for. While we respect each other’s differences, we are bound to have disagreements on how things in the house can and should run. And while I love suggestions, in the end, I ultimately have to do whatever it takes to keep the house running and to do it in such a way that I can manage it within my personal limits. Not to mention meeting as many of the needs of each individual without ignoring the needs of another. It’s a tough balancing act to say the least.

First and Secondary Reaction

So naturally, I began binge-watching Netflix and Youtube. The great procrastination tools. I ended up landing on a channel called the Roaming Mellineal. She’s a conservative millennial vlogging about social and political issues. She was interviewing a man named Jordan Peterson and while I don’t remember what they were talking about, I do remember one thing from his talk.

While I was sitting there I listened to Jordan tell the audience about this program he enacted at a few colleges to help reduce their Freshman dropout rate. The school engaged their students in this program as a part of their gen ed English/Freshman year courses. He explained how they did these writing prompts to help them explore their future, their past, and their overarching goals.

In addition to offering the program through a college, he offers it online under a series of programs dubbed the self authoring program. While I have checked out the site, I haven’t bought any of them yet. If I do, I’ll make sure to share what I learn with the rest of you. However, seeing how insightful this prompt was, I may use the program, or at least the prompt, with the Valkyrie someday.

Goals Writing Prompts

Regardless, he advised millennials to participate in the prompts described below. While he specifically designates them for millennials, I think anyone struggling to find their way could use them to figure out what they want and maybe even how to start working to that end. So with no further ado….here we go:

The Future

First grab a pen and paper and think about where you want to end up in five years? What is your ideal future? What kind of life do you want to have? Who and what inspires you to desire these things and why?

In addition to that consider the things you could do better. Maybe you need to get rid of some bad habbits or gain a few new ones. Think about your ideal family life, social network, and leisurely activities. Dream big and put in anything that you want to do in the next five years. What that would look like to you.

Obviously, the point here is to help you determine what you want so that you can align your goals and actions towards these goals. I would say I probably wrote between 2500 and 5000 words on this exercise. If I hadn’t been on a bit of a time crunch I might have even written more.

Maybe you want to be healthier or a better parent. Whatever your goals the best way to achieve them is to figure out where you want to end up and what that looks like.

Your Personal Hell

Second, Peterson recommended exploring what your own personal hell looked like. Discussing what essentially would be your nightmare existance. Everything gone wrong from your first scenario and what that might look like. Look at it down to the nitty gritty details. It is a very hard writing prompt to finish, at least it was for me, however, it is very insightful as to everything you want to avoid.

Thinking about your own personal hell, for lack of a better term, hurts. It was very hard to get through, but it helped me work through a number of the things blocking me and stopping me from moving forward. I found myself able to see what I hated about my current situation and how it fed into both my fears and insecurities. Your own experience may vary, but I found it a very useful exercise.

I’ll even give you an example. For me, I don’t want to be the only one providing care in the future. I would like to be able to take a step back from the daily grind and be able to manage all the other things that I run out of time to do, like finding more services for them or setting up my dad’s pension to pay out. Right now there just isn’t enough of me to touch those things and hit the biggest priorities in the house.

If you are just starting out in caregiving feel free to browse those sections of my site for more ideas of what you would like to avoid.

My Own Prompt

The final thing I did wasn’t actually from his prompt, but in thinking about these things I used it as a springboard of sorts. I created my bucket list. Something that in all my 29 years of existance, I had never done. I actually ended up doing this before the first two because I initially wasn’t sure where to start writing. I can’t remember what gave me the idea to write out a bucket list, but it helped me get started and you might find it useful if you’re struggling initially as well.

Your Journey

Every journey is different. I can’t speak to what you may learn, but I can tell you that this experience opened my eyes. The last year has been a whirlwind journey of discovery. I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve learned a number of limits, among other things.

Most of all, I’ve figured out that I can’t put my life on hold to be a caregiver. It’s easy to drop everything and run to the aid of someone you care about. However, you cannot stop living your life. You cannot stop taking care of myself. My journey toward this started with trying to date again and now I’m realizing that there are other things that I need to do, at least on occasion to help take care of myself.

I can’t guarantee that this activity will help you, but I figure, at the very least, it can’t hurt. Anything that provides additional perspective to you as a parent, caregiver, or otherwise is useful in some way. Hopefully, you find this prompt as helpful as I did. If not, I at least hope that you get something from this activity.

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Pagan Curriculum Ideas

Hello folks, today I’m here to ask for your feedback. I’m fiddling with the idea of building a pagan curriculum. I’ve seen what’s out there and while some of it is cute, I wish there was more. Pagan Acorns (add link) has made a wonderful start. However, while I’ve used some of their tools, I wish it was a bit more comprehensive and more interconnected to everything else we need to teach our children. I both want to hear what you think of my ideas so far and what other units you would like to see if you are/were homeschooling your little pagan.

My Curriculum Ideas

While I am currently working on a prototype I have a ton of ideas for different units including:

  • Pagan deity units (Greek/Roman, Celtic, Hindu, Norse)
  • Moon lore and science unit.
  • A fairy based unit to teach herbs, cooking, and herbal remedies.
  • Potentially a tarot unit for fun (mainly because my little one loves tarot already)
  • An open philosophy unit exploring a variety of ethical and philosophical questions for teens.
  • History and Geography (Though I don’t really have a plan for this yet). The only idea I have for this is maybe a Native American unit.
  • Unit on the holidays, seasons, and realted lore.

My Prototype

I do have a prototype that I’m working on. I’m planning on it being a part of a larger project. It is a unit study based on the Norse Goddes Freya. I would like to expand it to the other major gods of this pantheon and then maybe do something similar for some of the other pantheons.

Currently it contains the following:

  • History of the Norse Gods (History and Geography)
  • World of the Norse Gods: The tree of Yggdrassil
  • Freya Fast Facts
  • Symbols and Animals of Freya Coloring Page
  • Symbols of Freya Part 2
  • Cultural Connection: Friday the 13th
  • What are Archetypes?
  • Freya’s Archetypes
  • Critical Thinking: Freya & Frigg: The Same Goddess
    Or not?
  • Writing or Discussion Prompt
  • Freya: Myths and Legends
  • Story Map Worksheet
  • Character Analysis Worksheet
  • Science: Amber Resin
  • Science Craft: Make your own resin fosil
  • Freya Flowers
  • Herbal cooking
  • Freya Quizlette
  • Vocabulary
  • Additional Resources and Reading
  • References and Credits

Either way, I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas. Even your concerns about this idea. I want to hear what the community wants and needs. And that goes for my posts as well. If there is ever something you would like to see on the blog feel free to comment below. I can’t wait to hear what you’re thinking. Whether it be an improvement on an idea or a suggestion for a unit study.

Let me know what you would like to see in a pagan curriculum.

Thanks and Blessed Be.

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Back from Nano

Hello everyone. I’m back from my journey into NaNo. This year I used my time to work on both a story and a whole bunch of new posts for you folks. I’m still in the process of editing, but I’m looking forward to sharing with you what I know and learning from your comments.

Be on the lookout for posts to resume in a few days.

Blessed Be.

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